Looking forward at Thanksgiving, I don't think I've ever been this depressed. A lot of it is exhaustion, yes, but a lot of it is looking at another holiday season without the girls. I need to get my head past the next couple of months.

And so, in the middle of this financial, medical, mental, and emotional crisis, a list of things I will be doing once finances get worked out:

• Buying more lingerie, either Belabumbum or something similarly maternity-friendly.
• Getting an entire set of Pebeo Porcelaine 150 paints for my tile and mosaic work.
• Buying maternity clothes as a whole.
• Setting up the baby stuff and nursery, piece by piece.
• Buying furniture for the upstairs reading nook, or buying a new living room couch and moving our current couch up where it belongs.
• Just plain not worrying so goddamn much about everything.